Thursday, October 29, 2009

What is Wrong with Conservatives?

Well for one thing, they value "their women" for being hot and wearing Jimmy Choos? I wish I was kidding.

I'm probably going to be late for work because of this... but I couldn't resist. You should read the article in its entirety but I have provided you some commentary on some of the funniest lines.

"Could be our slogan: Come for the culture war ... stay for the chicks."

Because "our chicks" are HAWT! Forget about their individualism or opinions. Well I guess we can feign interest in their opinions as long as they keep wearing those sexy skirts on TV! HAWT.

"The primary reason our womenfolk are at war with the looming spectre of the nanny state is because you can't buy Jimmy Choos in a socialist paradise."

The primary reason that women are not voting for your party is probably because you are referring to them as "womenfolk."

"The only sensible footwear you'll find in a right-wing woman's closet are the Nike cross-trainers that go with her gym membership. Everything else has a three-inch heel. Minimum"

No fatties on the right!! They also apparently check your heel height at the door; hope you like bunions ladies!

"You never hear a right-wing woman break out statistics pointing out that only 25% of elected offices in Canada are held by women, and then whining about it. No. A right-wing woman wants to get elected, she runs for office. If she wins, great. If she loses ... well, there's always more shoe shopping."

If only I could think of a woman on the left who ran for office, I could totally point out how stupid this person sounds.... If only...arg! On the tip of my tongue... Hil....hilarious!! This author is simply hilarious. Women not represented in government in equal numbers?? Meh, we make up for it BECAUSE WE HAVE MORE SHOES. Boo Ya!

"A right-wing woman hits the gym, swings past Sobey's and has dinner on the table by the time you get home ... while her left-wing counterpart is still stuck in traffic listening to Sarah McLachlan on her iPod and feeling morally superior about her carrot choices. And when that plate of food is put in front of you by the right-wing hottie you had the good sense to marry, it will be 100% tofu-free. If you're lucky, she just remembered to buy steak and forgot about the carrot entirely."

She probably also worked before hitting the gym, but having her conservative husband help with dinner is clearly out of the question. She serves her husband, tofu-free dammit!

"They know that the good life costs money ... so they're not sure why the average Canadian is handing -- on average! -- half their income to smarmy government apparatchiks who spend it mostly on stupid crap."

Our women are a genuine asset when they enter politics because they've spent their lives figuring out how to live within their family's means ... while still affording a couple of pairs of those Jimmy Choos."

Smarmy government...BAH!!! Conservative women are so much smarter than me. (and hotter!) And a $400.00 pair of shoes IN NO WAY qualifies as "stupid crap" except in liberal land.

"And in case you're not convinced, to indicate the utter superiority of the right-wing woman over the left-wing variant ... just turn on The View.
The left has Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.
We've got Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

I don't listen to what any of these women have to say because I don't care. I simply put the TV on mute and watch that sexy Elisabeth Hasselbeck nod vigorously and flip her hair. HAWT

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Sexy Clownfish? Seriously?

I like how every Halloween costume imaginable can be made into a "SEXY" Halloween costume. Gone are the days of just being a "sexy kitten" or "sexy nurse." Now, ANYTHING can be sexy simply by hiking up your skirt and opening up your blouse.

Why you can be a sexy border patrol agent! A sexy pirate! A sexy honeybee! A sexy Alice in Wonderland! A sexy clownfish! Yes, a sexy clownfish.

It's a little ridiculous. Whatever happened to a little creativity? Whatever happened to looking sexy without looking ridiculous? Surely, there is some sort of happy medium between being dressed head to toe as "The Bride of Frankenstein" as Lindsay Lohan's character did in Mean Girls (before she knew about "the slut rule"), and the costumes the other girls wore that reflect "the one day a year a girl can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything to her about it."

Last year, one of the most popular Halloween costumes was "Sarah Palin." And while some women I'm sure donned a red, white, and blue bikini and a "Miss Alaska" sash, I thought it would be fun to 1. Not spend a lot of money on a Halloween costume. 2. Actually try to somewhat look like her. 3. Make fun of her a little bit without being too mean (I had to go to a party at my inlaws...)

So what I ended up with was a skirt and suit jacket, my glasses, hair in bun, a small American flag, and a nametag that read HELLO My Name Is "Maverick"

I thought it was a good costume... not saying there's anything wrong with trying to look "sexy" just saying that maybe our definition of sexy is little skewed.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Leave Meghan Alone!!

For those who may be unfamiliar with Meghan McCain, she is the 24 year old daughter of Senator and former Presidential candidate John McCain. She gained notoriety by blogging about her experience on the campaign trail with her dad at her blog, McCain Blogette During the campaign I perused her blog a few times and I found it mildly annoying and not terribly interesting.

What I found to be more interesting was how Meghan was trying to become a young fresh face of the Republican party (which, by the way, they need.) In many ways she has succeeded. She has appeared on the Colbert report and has described herself as "Pro-sex, pro-life, pro-gay marriage." She is also a columnist for The Daily Beast and has written some interesting though certainly not groundbreaking pieces. Confession - I kinda like Meghan McCain. I agree with her on some things, disagree on others, but I admire the way she has taken a stance on issues like gay rights when that's not the popular stance within the party. I'm not saying she should be given a award or anything for tolerating gay people, but she's doing her thing.

By putting herself out there in the public arena and being more or less a political figure, she is definitely opening herself up to criticism. But I think much of it is unwarranted.

The first time I recall Meghan really being "in the news" was for something that had nothing to do with politics at all. Well, maybe a little. It started when Meghan criticized Ann Coulter in one of her articles on the Daily Beast. (another reason why I like Meghan McCain. Seriously that took balls. Ann Coulter is a powerful and detestable figure in the Republican party - IMHO) But instead of responding to Meghan's writing or ideas, conservative talk show host Laura Ingraham mocked her by saying:

Ok, I was really hoping that I was going to get that role in the Real World, but then I realized that, well, they don’t like plus-sized models. They only like the women who look a certain way. And on this 50th anniversary of Barbie, I really have something to say.

Cause it's totally cool to not only mock her but also make fun of her weight. Yes, that's what two women who are prominent figures in the media should be discussing.

So that died down, but now McCain finds herself back in the news again. Ever the tweeter (cause that's what the cool kids are doing now!), Meghan recently posted a pic of herself with a book in hand along with the tweet, my "spontaneous" night in is my Andy Warhol biography and takeout....I'm getting old

The reason it made news is because she's wearing a low cut tank top and she's showing a lot of cleavage. (pic is off Twitter but you can see it on the link) Apparently she got a lot of hurtful comments, people calling her a slut etc. because she subsequently posted the following tweets:

so I took a fun picture not thinking anything about what I was wearing but apparently anything other than a pantsuit I am a slut, this is

why I have been considering deleting my twitter account, what once was fun now just seems like a vessel for harassment

when I am alone in my apartment, I wear tank tops and sweat pants, I had no idea this makes me a "slut", I can't even tell you how hurt I am

I do want to apologize to anyone that was offended by my twitpic, I have clearly made a huge mistake and am sorry 2 those that are offended.

My take on this is that it's ridiculous that it's making news. She is a 24 year old woman and she shouldn't have to apologize for a picture she posted on her twitter account.

It's not like she's Miley Cyrus (not saying that Miley Cyrus should or should not have apologized for her racy photos, but I feel there is a different aspect involved when it's a minor, who is a public figure, whose fan base is 5 year olds) In this case though, if you don't like the picture, don't follow her on twitter anymore! For crying out loud. One commenter posted, “You knew you were posting a nearly NSFW [not safe for work] photo, so don’t pretend like you’re surprised at people’s reaction.”

"Not Safe For Work?" Here's an idea, don't be on Twitter at work!! (confession #2, I've been on Twitter at work before. Shh.) But seriously, get over it. She has boobs. Yes, the way the picture was taken it kinda looks like she was trying to show them off, but I honestly don't think she did it for the attention or wanted attention for that. And I also don't think she is obligated to put on a parka if she's posting a picture of herself. Just like we, the public, are not obligated to follow her on Twitter.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Actual Conversaton

Greg: I ruined a pair of your socks.
Me: How?
Greg: :::points to feet::: He is wearing my socks.
Me: Geez Greg, do your frickin laundry. What are you gonna wear my underwear when you run out of those?
Greg: I don't know... I'm going commando right now.
Me: You're disgusting.