Thursday, October 29, 2009

What is Wrong with Conservatives?

Well for one thing, they value "their women" for being hot and wearing Jimmy Choos? I wish I was kidding.

I'm probably going to be late for work because of this... but I couldn't resist. You should read the article in its entirety but I have provided you some commentary on some of the funniest lines.

"Could be our slogan: Come for the culture war ... stay for the chicks."

Because "our chicks" are HAWT! Forget about their individualism or opinions. Well I guess we can feign interest in their opinions as long as they keep wearing those sexy skirts on TV! HAWT.

"The primary reason our womenfolk are at war with the looming spectre of the nanny state is because you can't buy Jimmy Choos in a socialist paradise."

The primary reason that women are not voting for your party is probably because you are referring to them as "womenfolk."

"The only sensible footwear you'll find in a right-wing woman's closet are the Nike cross-trainers that go with her gym membership. Everything else has a three-inch heel. Minimum"

No fatties on the right!! They also apparently check your heel height at the door; hope you like bunions ladies!

"You never hear a right-wing woman break out statistics pointing out that only 25% of elected offices in Canada are held by women, and then whining about it. No. A right-wing woman wants to get elected, she runs for office. If she wins, great. If she loses ... well, there's always more shoe shopping."

If only I could think of a woman on the left who ran for office, I could totally point out how stupid this person sounds.... If only...arg! On the tip of my tongue... Hil....hilarious!! This author is simply hilarious. Women not represented in government in equal numbers?? Meh, we make up for it BECAUSE WE HAVE MORE SHOES. Boo Ya!

"A right-wing woman hits the gym, swings past Sobey's and has dinner on the table by the time you get home ... while her left-wing counterpart is still stuck in traffic listening to Sarah McLachlan on her iPod and feeling morally superior about her carrot choices. And when that plate of food is put in front of you by the right-wing hottie you had the good sense to marry, it will be 100% tofu-free. If you're lucky, she just remembered to buy steak and forgot about the carrot entirely."

She probably also worked before hitting the gym, but having her conservative husband help with dinner is clearly out of the question. She serves her husband, tofu-free dammit!

"They know that the good life costs money ... so they're not sure why the average Canadian is handing -- on average! -- half their income to smarmy government apparatchiks who spend it mostly on stupid crap."

Our women are a genuine asset when they enter politics because they've spent their lives figuring out how to live within their family's means ... while still affording a couple of pairs of those Jimmy Choos."

Smarmy government...BAH!!! Conservative women are so much smarter than me. (and hotter!) And a $400.00 pair of shoes IN NO WAY qualifies as "stupid crap" except in liberal land.

"And in case you're not convinced, to indicate the utter superiority of the right-wing woman over the left-wing variant ... just turn on The View.
The left has Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.
We've got Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

I don't listen to what any of these women have to say because I don't care. I simply put the TV on mute and watch that sexy Elisabeth Hasselbeck nod vigorously and flip her hair. HAWT

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