Greg: I'm going to buy you a shake weight.
Greg: To help you work out.
Me: I do work out. I run and play soccer.
Greg: You need to lift weights.
Me: Ok, so why can't you just buy me normal weights?
Greg: Because a shake weight is funny.
Me: Why is it funny?
Greg: Because it looks like you're jerking off a penis.
I'm thinking of starting a new blog with shit Greg says... it'll be like "shit my dad says" except it'll be "shit my husband says."