Sunday, December 16, 2012

Thinking About Yourself is Not Selfish

If there's anything I've learned in the last six years of being an "adult," it's that you should always do what is best for you. It can be hard to figure out exactly what that is, but sometimes you just know.  I certainly believe in listening to and taking into account the advice of trusted friends and family, but in the end the decisions you make in life are yours. They affect you, not your friends and family (usually).  It's not just about being happy (although that's certainly a goal) but it's about choosing your path and creating the life that you want for yourself. That "dream" life will look different for different people and that's okay

Friday, November 30, 2012

Favorite Things!

You know what one of my favorite things is? Women who make money by writing books and articles that tell other women they shouldn't be making money. Because having a career is not feminine, and men won't want to marry you.

Suzanne Venker is very worried about women in the workforce. The problem? "Women aren't women anymore." Also, women now see men as "the enemy." Women are stealing men's jobs, and men are sad because "Men want to love women, not compete with them." And now... men don't want to get married. Pew Research Center says so. Except Venker doesn't link to the Pew Research report in her article.

I did something crazy and... looked it up.

Here's what I see:


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Free Contraceptives for Everyone! (Or Just the Sluts)

Mitt Romney's comments yesterday on birth control (among other things) prove just how out of touch he is:

"Free contraceptives were very big with young college-aged women," he continued. "And then, finally, Obamacare also made a difference for them, because as you know, anybody now 26 years of age and younger was now going to be part of their parents' plan, and that was a big gift to young people. They turned out in large numbers, a larger share in this election even than in 2008."

He seems to not understand that:


1. Most women are still going to have to pay for birth control by purchasing insurance plans and paying monthly premiums.  Getting birth control without a copay is a benefit of the plan....that people pay for.

2. It's not just "college-aged sluts women" that use birth control.  99% of women use birth control at some point in their lives, including married women.

It's like he can't comprehend that someone might be married and want to delay having a child, or a second or third child. And more often than not it's for economic reasons.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Gender Gap

The 20 point gender gap in the 2012 presidential election is the largest Gallup has measured in a presidential election since it began compiling the vote by major subgroups in 1952.

It's almost as if the majority of women are tired of birth control and reproductive rights being treated as fringe issues when the ability to plan for and space your family is directly correlated with economic opportunity and mobility.

I'm guessing there's also a good number of women who are tired of the lip service paid by politicians to the idea that "motherhood is the most important job in the world" with zero actions or policies that actually support that idea.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Third Party

I get the dissatisfaction with the two party political system.  I really do.  I have several libertarian friends, and they've honestly made me reevaluate my former position that "a third party vote is a wasted vote." I do think people should vote their conscience, and I don't think it's wasted vote to vote third party. But it really pisses me off when they won't shut up about "how there's no difference between Romney and Obama." There's huge differences. Lots of them.

Interestingly enough, all the the people I know who identify as Libertarian are men. Could be a coincidence, or it could be that they're not taking into account the different voting records on issues that are considered "women's issues." I don't really know. Either way, I'm glad they're voting their conscience.  I'm going to vote mine too.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

BUY YOUR OWN

Last night Greg and I watched "The Rumble," a debate featuring Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart. It was both entertaining and interesting. Similar to the two presidential candidates, these gentlemen don't just differ on policy ideas, but they differ widely in their worldviews and the role of government in modern day life.

Bill O'Reilly is a free-market, pro-capitalism, no entitlements kind of guy whereas Jon Stewart wants the private and public sectors to work together more efficiently for the betterment of everyone. Both agree that we should help people who truly need it, but Bill O'Reilly seems to be more cynical of Americans than Stewart because instead of believing that more Americans are falling through the cracks of a broken system, he believes more Americans are actually gaming the system to avoid working.

O'Reilly thinks Americans just want things handed to them for free.  And one thing Americans (at least female Americans) want? Birth Control.  That's right, me and my cohort (aka women of childbearing age) want the government to take Bill O'Reilly's hard earned money and use it to buy our birth control.  Or, that's what he'd have you believe.  When it comes to birth control, Bill O'Reilly says, "BUY YOUR OWN".

The new healthcare act (which I will refer to as "Obamacare" because 1. It's easier to remember than "Affordable Healthcare for America Act" and 2. Obama himself has embraced the term) allows for women to get some* forms of birth control FOR FREE.

Queue all your Facebook friends/Constitutional scholars: WHAT THE FUCK?! I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR YOUR BIRTH CONTROL. BUY YOUR OWN!

One thing that doesn't get talked about often enough? Most women actually ARE Buying Their Own birth control. Through Their Monthly Health Insurance Premiums. People buy health insurance and a benefit of many plans is that some forms of preventive care are covered without having to pay towards a deductible or with a minimal copay. Obamacare is saying that all plans have to cover certain preventive care without a deductible or copay. One of those things is birth control. Another is immunizations for children.

I don't hear people saying, "I don't want to pay for your kids' shots!"  I personally don't have kids. By Bill O'Reilly's logic, I should be pretty pissed off that your kid is getting a free shot without you having to pay towards your deductible for it. Maybe you should just BUY YOUR OWN immunizations and stop expecting ME to pay for it.

Sound like an asshole thing to say? Yes, and that's what people who say Buy Your Own birth control sound like to me. Ridiculous.

*I'm unclear on if this includes ALL forms of birth control, such as shots or IUDs

Monday, October 1, 2012

Texas Renaissance Festival

I've been to the Texas Renaissance Festival every year for the last five years, and I sometimes get questions about it from people who have never been.  So I thought I'd write a blog post with some tips and insights that you won't find on the Texas Renaissance Festival website.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

If I Was An Advice Columnist!

I would be an AWESOME advice columnist!

LW #1 – Your neighbors are crazy. Don’t play the music, and don’t put anything near their property line. Other than that, continue with your planning!

LW# 2 – Your girlfriend is psycho. GTFO

LW# 3 –Make an out of office notification. “Be out of office this week. Will return on Monday with giant boobs.” Haha, j/k! No need to bring it up first. If people give you a funny look or start to bring it up, just be direct and say “Yeah, I got a boob job.”

LW #4 – Tell your kids the neighbors don’t celebrate Halloween, but it’s a fun tradition for your family. If you get accused of being Satan worshipers – dress all your kids as little devils and send em’ to the neighbors for candy!

LW# 5 – Wow, karma is a bitch! Don’t call Lisa, don’t call the “other woman.” Figure it out. Also, sorry about your health condition.

LW# 6 – Your grandparents are crazy. Put a stop to this nonsense immediately. “Grandma, we haven’t named the baby yet. Her name is NOT Elizabeth. We can’t wait to share the name with everyone, after she’s born.”

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Love the Sinner Hate the Sin

I'm trying to imagine what my reaction would be like if a close friend or family member said something along the lines of:

"Kim, I've known you a long time and I want you to know I love you and I'll never stop being your friend/mom/dad/sister/whatever.  I disagree with your relationship with Greg, and I can't say that what you guys are doing is okay.  I know it's not what God wants.  But I still love you."

I think the "love the sinner hate the sin" attitude can be beneficial  in a lot of circumstances.  Substitute "relationship with Greg" with "drinking problem" or "drug problem" and I could see how that could be helpful in changing behavior. I don't agree with saying "you do your thing and I'll do mine" if someone you love is truly hurting themselves (as would be the case with a drinking or drug problem). 

But if someone I loved "lovingly" told me that my relationship with the person who is the most important person in the world to me was a "sin," I can't say I would take too kindly to that. Love the sinner hate the sin isn't always patronizing. It definitely has its place.  None of us are perfect, and even the people we love are going to hurt us sometimes.

If people in my life insisted my relationship with my husband was a sin, I would hope I would be graceful and loving and understanding towards their point of view. But in reality, I would probably tell them to fuck off.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Same Page

I like that Greg and I are on the same page when it comes to bullshit.  In that we spot it pretty easily and don't tolerate it.

I really enjoy watching the Suze Orman show. I will admit to you that part of the reason I enjoy watching it is to know that other people are worse off than I am.  And make dumber decisions.  But then you always have the jackass who ruins it by calling in and saying, "I make $12,000 a month and have 1.5 million in savings/retirement.  Suze - can I afford a new dishwasher?"

There was a 20 minute segment on with a couple about our age who had been married five years and was having financial difficulties.  They guy had lost his job, and they admitted they never agreed about money even during the beginning of their marriage.

Suze likes to get into psychology and frequently tells people that financial problems are often the symptom, not the cause of, relationship problems.  She was just going on and on with this couple....and a lot of what she was saying was absolutely true and good advice.

Greg came into the room though and said, "This problem could be solved in five seconds. YOU - stop spending money you don't have.  YOU - stop treating him like a baby.  DONE."

Harsh, but true. Greg and I would probably both be bad advice columnists.  Our answers to people's problems would likely be short and a little insulting.  But probably hilarious.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Just Sayin'

In my opinion, anyone who claims abortion should be illegal with exceptions for rape or incest does not actually believe that abortion kills babies. They are in favor of making abortion illegal because that would punish women who want to be sexually active and not have a baby. They want to differentiate the "good girls" from the "bad girls." If you were a "bad girl" who had sex, then you'll accept the consequences and go through pregnancy and give birth regardless of if you want to or your personal circumstances. If you were a "good girl" and the sex was forced (which you'll likely have to go through an extensive process to prove) well then alright - you get a pass.

If you're of the opinion that abortion is murder, then own that opinion. But if you say "it's okay for a woman to have an abortion if the pregnancy was a result of rape or incest" then think about what that means. That means you're okay with killing the baby that was the result of rape, but not okay with killing the baby that was the result of the condom breaking? That's not logical at all. And yet almost every "pro-life" politician will have a rape or incest exception in their proposed policy to make abortion illegal.

To be fair - I do know people who are of the opinion that all abortion is murder regardless of if the pregnancy results from rape or incest. I disagree with their opinion, but I respect them a lot more than anyone who claims abortion is murder, but should be allowed in the cases of rape or incest.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Facebook Woes

I wish there was a way to hide any status updates that include "Ron Paul" from my newsfeed.