I would be an AWESOME advice columnist!
LW #1 – Your neighbors are crazy. Don’t play the music, and don’t put anything near their property line. Other than that, continue with your planning!
LW# 2 – Your girlfriend is psycho. GTFO
LW# 3 –Make an out of office notification. “Be out of office this week. Will return on Monday with giant boobs.” Haha, j/k! No need to bring it up first. If people give you a funny look or start to bring it up, just be direct and say “Yeah, I got a boob job.”
LW #4 – Tell your kids the neighbors don’t celebrate Halloween, but it’s a fun tradition for your family. If you get accused of being Satan worshipers – dress all your kids as little devils and send em’ to the neighbors for candy!
LW# 5 – Wow, karma is a bitch! Don’t call Lisa, don’t call the “other woman.” Figure it out. Also, sorry about your health condition.
LW# 6 – Your grandparents are crazy. Put a stop to this nonsense immediately. “Grandma, we haven’t named the baby yet. Her name is NOT Elizabeth. We can’t wait to share the name with everyone, after she’s born.”