Friday, November 30, 2012

Favorite Things!

You know what one of my favorite things is? Women who make money by writing books and articles that tell other women they shouldn't be making money. Because having a career is not feminine, and men won't want to marry you.

Suzanne Venker is very worried about women in the workforce. The problem? "Women aren't women anymore." Also, women now see men as "the enemy." Women are stealing men's jobs, and men are sad because "Men want to love women, not compete with them." And now... men don't want to get married. Pew Research Center says so. Except Venker doesn't link to the Pew Research report in her article.

I did something crazy and... looked it up.

Here's what I see:


The graph on the left lists the percentage of men and women who said “marriage one of the most important things in their lives.” There, more women now list marriage as “one of the most important things in their lives” than men. This support's Venker's statement women now place more value on marriage then men.

But there's also a graph on the right. Apparently, Pew Research Center also asked men and women if "marriage is one of the most important things" or "very important in their lives." Here, we see that 84% of women said having a successful marriage is one of the most important things or very important in their lives. 83% of men said the same. A one percent difference.

The graph on the left does show an increase in the number of young women and a decrease in the number of young men who said "a successful marriage is one of the most important things in their lives." But I think it's important to note that other answers such as "Very important" or "Somewhat important" are not shown in that graph. The "very important" answer IS shown in the second graph.

When I parse this information, I don't think the data shows that men hate the idea of marriage, and are running away from it. The numbers on the right show that roughly equal numbers of men and women value 1. Having a successful marriage, 2. Being a good parent, and 3. Being in a successful career. It's almost as if both men and women want work-life balance and value time with family AND being able to support a family.

And as it turns out, the Pew Research Center agrees with me! (or I agree with them?)  Either way, here's what they have to say about their research:

For men and women of all ages, being a good parent and having a successful marriage continue to rank significantly higher on their list of priorities than being successful in a high-paying job or career. Thus, the increased importance women are now placing on their careers has not come at the expense of the importance they place on marriage and family.

I don't see the problem, but Suzanne Venker does. And she has a solution for you.

Fortunately, there is good news: women have the power to turn everything around. All they have to do is surrender to their nature – their femininity – and let men surrender to theirs.

If they do, "marriageable men" will come out of the woodwork.

Surrender to your femininity! Drop out of school. Don't work. Wait for a good "marriageable" man to come along and sweep you off your feminine feet! A life of happiness awaits you! We can end this terrible "War on Men!"

Suzanne Venker says so! In this article and presumably in the three books she wrote on the American family. I wonder if she got paid to write those?

Since I'm obviously fascinated with women who make a career out of telling other women not to have careers, I took a look at her bio, conveniently located on

A crusader for marriage and the family, she states:

We have a serious problem in America. Marriage and the family, the most significant institution of all time, is dying. Something must be done, and this is my way of doing my part. It’s that simple.

She also mentions that she's divorced. Because she "married the wrong guy at 23." But.. she wants to help other women "avoid this fate." 

Did I mention that my other favorite thing after "women who make money by writing books and articles that tell other women they shouldn't be making money" is when a divorced woman makes money by telling other women that they're "ruining the institution of marriage and the family?" Because it totally is.

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